Hurt
by I Heart Idina Menzel
Summary: Short angsty oneshot that focuses on Glinda's thoughts about Elphaba's death. It's also a songfic to Hurt by Nine Inch Nails. Tell me if you think Glinda is OOC. Mild Gelphie


She pushed the blade to her arm, and drug it across her flesh, drawing blood. No one would ever pin Glinda the Good as a cutter, not even herself, but things happened. Like the death of her best friend and lover, Elphaba Thropp, otherwise known as the Wicked Witch of the West. Yes, Glinda had been in love with the Wicked Witch. She allowed herself to focus on the pain, the blood was the only thing on her that was real. Elphaba wouldn't like her doing this. Glinda felt the familiar burning in her heart as she thought about Elphaba, she though cutting would help her forget about it, a lot of good it did.

_**I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
The only thing that's real  
The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting  
Try to kill it all away  
But I remember everything**_

She hated herself right now. She was nothing but a liar and a coward, she had reverted back to who she was before Elphaba was her friend. She had gone back to hiding who she was in order to make other people accept her. Anyone else would gladly give their soul in order to rule Oz, but Glinda would gladly give her soul to anybody who would take over ruling Oz. She knew what would happen if she allowed herself to get to know the other Ozians, she'd let them down. Just like she had let Elphaba and herself down.

_**What have I become?  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know  
Goes away in the end  
You could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt**_

Almost every word that came from her lips was a lie now. She pretending to be happy about the Witch's death, but in reality it ripped her heart apart. She had to rearrange her thoughts in order to hide her true self from Oz, she had to make herself hate Elphaba by telling herself that Elphaba had left her. But when she was alone, she knew it had been her hurting Elphaba. The first time they met, Glinda had been Galinda. Galinda the popular. Galinda the beautiful. Galinda the bitch. She had hurt Elphaba over and over again, perhaps because the emerald girl challenged her. Being so cruel to Elphaba was another thing she hated herself for. That had been so long ago, but not long enough it seemed. No, she could still remember her taunting laughter and nasty remarks toward her roommate, but she couldn't remember the fun times they shared. She couldn't remember how happy she had been after the Ozdust Ball, when she had opened her eyes to the real Elphie. She couldn't remember the rush of joy when her and Elphaba shared their first kiss together. She couldn't remember her heart nearly bursting with happiness every time Elphaba said "I love you". No, she didn't remember any of it. She was pathetic. If she had been Elphaba, she would be trying to help the Animals, instead of sitting on her pretty little ass all day feeling sorry for herself.

_**I wear my crown of shit  
On my liar's chair  
Full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair  
Beneath the stain of time  
The feeling disappears  
You are someone else  
I am still right here**_

She'd give up everything to have Elphaba hold her again. She'd give ruling Oz. She'd give up her jewelry and clothes and shoes. She'd give up her good looks. There wasn't anything she wouldn't give in order to bring Elphaba back to life. But somewhere in her mind, Glinda knew if it was possible to bring Elphaba back to life, she'd probably just hurt her.

_**What have I become?  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know  
Goes away in the end  
You could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt**_

Maybe, just maybe if she hadn't been so stupid when she had first met Elphaba, the love of her life would still be alive. If she had gone with her to stop the Wizard, she might still be alive. But you can't change the past.

_**If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I would keep myself  
I would find a way**_


End file.
